Category: Introduction

We have taken about 18 months off to collectively take a breath and work through all those Covid variants – Delta, Omnicron and whatever is happening now. But there does seem to be a renewed optimism as we transition to the fall and back to school. New York City just lifted their subway mask mandate and our children don’t have to wear masks in schools anymore. It seems we can now re-emerge into our new normal world with fresh eyes and renewed perspective. The timing seems right for more wisdom and more lessons.

Since we last connected a lot has happened – you and I have changed more than we probably recognize. We are growing and improving more and more all the time. Better at being a spouse, or a parent. Better at being a colleague or friend. We are certainly learning lessons from these past 2.5 years that will stay with us for a lifetime.

I recently heard my pastor say that wisdom is knowledge applied, skills for living well. A simple, yet stunning definition of wisdom that has become imprinted on me. I have been challenged and inspired by this idea of applying knowledge to life. The experiences we all have become wisdom when we learn from them. And when we let our greatest difficulties, obstacles and losses become greatest educators – it is then that we start to see as my friend Lindy might say – life as abundance and not scarcity.

Richard Rohr is a Franciscan Friar who leads the Center for Contemplative Action in New Mexico is one of the deepest thinkers I know when it comes to wisdom. In Rohr’s book Falling Upwards he shares an insight from Carl Jung that life comes in two halves. When I read this I was so overwhelmed by the idea I literally had to put the book down and go outside. Because the idea simply floored me. I will paraphrase here, but in short it goes like this…

Life comes in two halves. The first half is about building a container – everything we achieve, accumulate, assemble and add to our lives in order to build a beautiful, identifiable, and durable container.

The second half of life begins when we understand what it is we are to put in it.

Beyond container building, but knowing what to pour out and what to pour into our collective containers. And I believe a lot of that is the collective wisdom – the skills for living well. This season we will have 10 new episodes that will come out like paychecks – every two weeks. So you have a week to process and think about the lesson that someone has taken a lifetime to learn – only seems appropriate.

So again, I hope you will join us on the journey. Tell a friend, I hope you will subscribe and rate and review the podcast on Apple or wherever you listen to podcasts.

I hope you will listen to all 10 episodes because this is what I know – this season will challenge and inspire, these conversations will shape us and grow us. Our perspectives will expand and our hearts will be full.  

This is where knowledge is applied.

Where we learn skills for living well.

An inventory of wisdom.

This is Season 2 of the Everything is Lessons Podcast.

GUSTAVO RAMIREZ is a person who lives life with meaning and purpose and intention. What makes him most compelling to me is that we all have dreams about how we hope life will go, but then Gustavo does something crazy – he actually does them.

This spirit of ambition and adventure has taken him all over the world and equipped him with enduring wisdom and quiet confidence. This becomes evident in every correspondence and every conversation.

Simply put, Gustavo is not a person who leaves much to chance, he lives a life full of dreams that have already been lived.

Mark Twain Travel books:

Innocence Abroad

https://www.amazon.com/Innocents-Abroad-Mark-Twain-Illustrated/dp/B086PMW7B7/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=the+innocence+abroad&qid=1619349681&s=books&sr=1-2

Roughing It

https://www.amazon.com/Roughing-Signet-Classics-Mark-Twain/dp/0451531108

Louis Kahn Architect Works

Salk Institute:

https://www.archdaily.com/61288/ad-classics-salk-institute-louis-kahn

Kimbell Art Museum:

https://www.archdaily.com/123761/ad-classics-kimbell-art-museum-louis-kahn

Jonas Salk Quote:

Steven Pressfield Quote:

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/576175-most-of-us-have-two-lives-the-life-we-live

MICAH WHITSON is a modern-day renaissance man. We have known he and his wife Marianna since we moved to Boston in 2011. We have grown together and raised our kids side by side. Micah is someone with immense creativity and dedication – his talent inspires, and his work connects. Each project demonstrates a passion for craft and love of place. Micah’s creative direction has led him through advertising, graphic design, and healthcare. He and his wife founded the Old Try in 2011 with the ambition to connect people to their southern roots through letterpress prints. He is someone who works a full-time job and then works a full time job. Simply put, whatever he touches reveals a hidden potential, its truest form.

In 2020, in the midst of a pandemic Micah took on yet another challenge – the MS State Flag design. Where his “Great River Flag” was so successful that he co-authored the final version. Yet another accolade for a person who lives beyond acclaim or recognition – he works hard because that’s what he knows best. A great person, father, and friend.

Show References:

David DuChemin Quote – The Art of Exclusion

Great River Flag submission for Mississippi

https://micahwhitson.com/The-Great-River-Flag

Steve Jobs Quote on the value of time:

https://blog.hubspot.com/sales/steve-jobs-quotes#:~:text=%E2%80%9CYour%20time%20is%20limited%2C%20so,follow%20your%20heart%20and%20intuition.%E2%80%9D

Pay attention Quote:

https://austinkleon.com/2017/03/16/pay-attention-to-what-you-pay-attention-to/

Here are the quotes we discussed on Episode 01:01:

From Wendell Berry’s book Imagination in Place referenced during the “Set the Bar” podcast:

“You can’t deal with things merely according to category; you are continually required to consider the distinct individuality of an animal or a tree, or the uniqueness of a place or situation, and you do draw upon a long accumulation of experience, your own and other peoples…you are always under pressure to explain to somebody (often yourself) exactly what needs to be done. This is the right kind of language for a writer, a language developing, so to speak, from the ground up.” – WB, I.I.P, pg 58

“beyond desire, intellect or learning or will or technical artistry, the readiness is everything. It involves everything listed above, plus a life’s work. – WB, IIP, pg 117

(Kathleen Raine, poem – from Imagination in Place

It is myself

I leave behind

My mother’s child

Simple, unlearned

Whose soul’s country

Was these bright hills

This northern sky

“..it is grief that preserves and clarifies the memory of her joy, and gives it life and value.” – – WB, I.I.P, pg 132

“…think of Influence literally as a flow: steadily augmenting flow of consciousness and of conscience moving toward (something)…one enters into this flow by way of a “moment”, a momentum, of clarity instinct with the power to gather other such moments.”

– WB, I.I.P, pg 42

My Imagination in Place book review

Buy it here

Let’s be honest, this took a turn.

I thought I would write 50 blog posts in 2020 or at least 20…and I did 8. That’s not exactly true, I wrote profusely, but mostly in my red notebook. I spent the rest of the year looking for good in the midst of a global pandemic, a political insurrection, and economic instability. Someone told me recently, “not every year is good, but there is good in every year” – I think that is about right.

I noticed in the fall that a fellow alumni from K-State had started a podcast interviewing Architects and asking them about how they succeed in the profession. I was jealous. That is a perfect podcast idea – clear mission, concise format, compelling output. Check out Adam’s podcast Archi-tecting – click here. But, instead of just feeling like I had missed the opportunity again, I used this as a prompt to start something new, something unknown, something that is as ubiquitous as buffalo plaid or elastic joggers – I was going to start a podcast.

I surveyed my friends, found the right microphone, investigated a platform and found that I didn’t need much to lift this off the ground. Using Anchor for the recording and production, I found I could easily record a trailer and post to many podcast networks with ease. Not Apple yet, that is the next step. In any case, the first episode is tonight and I could not be more excited.

I am learning that writing about ideas is far too neat and sometimes there are things that need to be messy first. The long-form interview, the deep conversation, with someone about a lesson they have found to be instrumental became a compelling space to intervene. Use the Hemingway story “for sale, baby shoes, never worn” as a prompt for concise topics. Use the 3-word prompt list I have been compiling for over 2 years as a catalyst for guest to speak to. All of this took on some momentum and led to a trailer, a post, and the first episode with my dear friend Ian Scherling.

I don’t know where this will take me, but I am almost giddy thinking about how this might shape, inform, or inspire others. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and join us on the Everything is Lessons podcast.

We are in the middle of a global pandemic.

Everyday I wake up and cannot believe it is actually happening – millions of people in the US staying at home – all day – trying to watch kids, be a teacher, and maintain a job all during an uncertain economic season.

Sounds like a screenplay for a movie no one would want to see.

During this anxious time, I have been struggling to find joy and contentment. I find myself overwhelmed by the scope and scale of everything. How could things get even worse? How could there be another spike in the fall? Will we ever find normalcy again? How will life change post-pandemic? What blessings exist around me that would not have been otherwise?

Lots of questions.

But recently, a friend mentioned something I found interesting. A more compelling and thought provoking way to live through this. Noticing the nuance. That is to say, finding the special moments in each day that would have never been possible if this had not happened.

Maybe its a midday walk and conversation with your spouse. A long run to think about all the things you think about. Or an opportunity to watch your kids grow up and learn. If I could find a significant detail, a memorable moment each day – would that re-shape the anxiety I feel?

Maybe…

The image above is from a sidewalk down the street. I have walked past this concrete moment hundreds and hundreds of times. But, this time I was with the girls – giving Kelly a break. For some reason, I looked down and saw it. A perfectly captured leaf silhouette embedded into the sidewalk. How long has this been there? How could I have missed it?

It reminded my of Tadao Ando’s Vitra museum that cast a leaf into his trademark concrete walls. A gesture meant to preserve the memory of the existing tree cut down during construction. A reference to a time in the past preserved for an indeterminate future.

I look forward to walking past this sidewalk leaf in the not so distant future. Thinking about how thankful I am be be near our community, our friends, our way of living – never again taking life for granted and forgetting to notice the nuance all around us.

I have a good friend who does Triathlons and one time I asked him how he trained for hills. He told me simply “run the hills”…

I love this advice.

I am a person who is constantly observes, reflects, and (probably) overthinks life – hence this blog. I often feel like I need to ask 5 of the most notable and wise figures their advice on a situation before making a decision. This is good practice in some cases, however not for everything in life. More recently, I have found that sometimes the only way to train for the hardest parts is to “run the hills”. Intentionally practice doing the hard stuff whether its a professional, relationship, physical or financial goal – whatever it is – step into the “hardest part” first and you often find you are better equipped than you thought. You simply needed a different, more humble posture.

Robert Frost has this quote that is embedded into my memory: “the best way out is always through”. I remember reading that many times before it really hit me – “the best way out” …is always through. The easier path seldom prepares you for life. However, the numerous instances in which I have been pressed, challenged, or had my ability doubted – those are moments that have defined my character and resolve. Those are the moments that help us understand what we are made of.

One could argue that our setbacks, failures, and missed opportunities are the topography we must traverse to shape who we truly are. We must suffer and experience hardship to understand how little control we actually have over our own circumstances. We never would admit that, but our ambition is seldom about our planning and performance and more often about timing and external forces.

That’s why “Run the Hills” is such good advice.

Those who never see the lesson through their difficulty – they become cynical and bitter. However, those who endure hardship and share their story to help out others are full of wisdom. They have run the hills and found that moving “through” obstacles not only makes us stronger mentally, but more self confident and self assured of our ability. That is valuable – to know ones strengths, limits, and beliefs so that you then can mentor and share your observations with those who ask you.

Here are a 5 ways that you may consider “running the hills” – intentionally stepping into difficult experiences to find a fuller, more meaningful life.

Fitness goal – let’s say you were training for a half marathon (me). Find a realistic running plan, find a challenging route, and make sure there is a monumental hill somewhere along the way. Repeat this course until you can do the “hill” every time. Very similar idea for gym routine, yoga, biking etc.

Relational goal – write out some of the feedback you have received from people closest to you. Ask them “how do you experience me – at my best, at my worst?” Maybe you don’t evenly share child duties (me), don’t listen or communicate (me), or don’t turn off work at home (me). Could you use that feedback to improve your relationship with your spouse, kids, friends? You have to accept that you have made mistakes, but also accept that you can change. Stanley Kunitz said in his amazing poem “the Layers” – “I am not done with my changes…”

Financial goal – similar to fitness in some ways. Set goals – “I want to set up a mutual fund…college fund…starting giving regularly”. Then set up the auto deduct from you account. This is the “hills” – the hardest part because usually this means you have to sacrifice something else. But, every time we have been generous or wise or thoughtful with our finances we have released the stressful hold that money can have on our marriages and lives.

Professional goal – I feel like these are the only goals I often set. (Yes, my priorities are constantly misaligned.) I think these are so easy to become ultimate goals and take over your attention – “if I don’t get senior associate….then associate principal….then….” This is a toxic and unfulfilling pursuit. A chasing after the wind. But, whata if you could learn from your past difficulties, failures, and setbacks and teach those around you. A mentor, an investor, an encourager. Now you are becoming something much more than a title – you are becoming a leader. And people will follow people who believe in them.

Spiritual goal – maybe you have always been in/ out of a spiritual background and never committed to your faith. What would happen if you were more open? Would God have something to say? Something unique for you do? Someone important for you to serve? This time – more than any other – might be the season to reconsider your postiion on faith and try again. To run the hills spiritually is to show up consistently, vulnerably, and relationally available. Open to something bigger than yourself. You may find more hope and love and encouragement than you ever thought possible. I did.

“Pay attention to what you pay attention to” – Amy Krouse Rosenthal

I heard this quote referenced by one of my favorite authors to follow – Austin Kleon. Now, this idea has been following me around all week – what do I pay attention to? Work? Family? Relationships? Faith? Finances? Health?

I guess one could assume we all wrestle with each facet of life in varying degrees. Maybe a season where one lever is pulled and another pushed. One lever stays in neutral and another goes forward or even in reverse. This is the balance of life – and if we’re not careful we can let other’s view of “our performance” to influence how we see ourselves.

These are the questions that I am paying the most attention to:

1. Am I growing professionally?
2. Will I be remembered?
3. Is my work life balanced?
4. How am I parenting my kids?
5. Am I a supportive and loving husband?
6. How can I be a great friend?
7. Am I there for my parents and sister?

That’s a lot.

Too much in fact.

What if we could view my professional and personal life differently? What if they were not a list of questions illuminating adequacy, but a list of opportunities to change the narrative.

Gary Hildebrand is one of my favorite design voices, writers, and landscape architects. Few people speak and write more poetically about the design process and poetics of place. He wrote this canonical essay “On Seeing” which offers some insight “…we are conscious of preoccupations that focus our attention and bring satisfaction and constant challenge.”

Hildebrand’s relentless optimism is a constant source of inspiration. Because, if we were honest, that which we pay attention to – is often negative and focuses on our deep insecurities. Hildebrand changes the narrative by changing our perception – our preoccupations (what we pay attention to) – help us focus and see our innate challenges. When we face them and take action we grow and find satisfaction.

I love that.

So here’s the lesson – what we pay attention to is the narrative we understand about ourselves. This is our story being revealed to us as we write it. What would happen if we changed the narrative from what I am not doing to what I am doing well?

What would happen if we began to intensify our focus on what we pay attention to – and made it a priority for personal growth. Here’s an example:

we notice – I don’t talk to my family enough.

a change – call or text them at the same time each week

we notice – I am not experiencing good work/life balance

a change – Could I leave earlier to spend time with kids and work a little later tonight?

The thing I am learning is that the narrative I often hear is one of negativity and inadequacy – I am never enough. If we aren’t careful we can become the victim of the lives that have been imposed upon us.

Sad right?

All of this is not true of course, but often our perception of our circumstances. Stating the things we pay attention, our preoccupations, and focusing on how we could do live them differently is a powerful proposition. I believe we could review the stories we tell ourselves and critique the narrative, and even change it. One small move at a time – leaving nothing out. We might start to see ourselves more accurately, as our kids, family, and friends experience us. As people who are loving and loyal, driven and determined- trying to do life the best they can – changing one narrative at a time.

“Everyone gets the experience, but not everyone gets the lesson” – T.S. Eliot

Everything is lessons is a collection of design wisdom that could apply to life or our profession. I came across Eliot’s quote some time last year in the midst of struggling with work and life and where I was supposed to be. I felt like I was accumulating loads of new experiences – successes, setbacks – and but missing the lesson, missing the deeper wisdom I could apply to my life.

This blog will become an inventory of collected wisdom that I have encountered. I am a mid career architect who is constantly seeking and yearning for more. I am let down and disappointed and encouraged and let down again. Through all of those experiences – there are lessons – what to do and what not to do.

I hope you will find each post to be honest, vulnerable, and compelling. Encouraging, hopeful, and real.

Raymond Carver’s makes a provocative claim in his dynamic book Fires –

“If you want to accomplish anything of consequence with two children, it better be short and of consequence.”

And so it is…

I will post short essays all with 3-word titles that detail bit of design or life wisdom I am learning or have learned. Some of these lessons are funny, some are painful, some are encouraging, and some are simply something to learn from. I am writing this mostly for my own therapy, but maybe you will enjoy reading too.

Once I get going, I will send out some notifications and give you yet another thing to read. In the meantime, therapy is in session.

rk

Writing topics – an inventory of wisdom

Give away everything
No mistake twice – bob knight
Make something happen
Develop the momentum
Change the Narrative
Ask more questions
Clarify the Expectations
Do your work
Read the stuff
Reveal the place
Frame the discussion
Clarify the Principles
Mine for Wisdom
Hold the pen
Carry the box
Copy the plans
Find the pockets
Pursue your passion
Be the light
Speak with confidence
Take a position
Write your thoughts
Relate. Read. Reflect.
Act with Grace
Thicken your experience
See beyond yourself
Be articulate enough
Trace the masters
Build consensus quickly
Don’t hold back
Build a community
Consistently provide content
Recognize the seeds (dani shapiro)
Build your influence
Engage your imagination
Trust your gut
Rely on God
Victim no more
Record the surge
Ask great questions
Find some solitude
Track your patterns
Layers of meaning
Learn from Difficulty
Calm is contagious
Reveal the history
Make cold calls
Write more letters
Encourage your tribe
Treat yourself well (how we are to a friend vs us)
List your tricks
Develop your principles
Today isn’t forever
Interview your heroes

Find the coat tails, Need of Discipline, Frozen Salt Marshes, Leave Nothing Out, See His Work, Genius of Place (WB), You are enough (BB), Peace Be Still (LD song), Contending with Worry, A Turning Point, Your Capable Stroke (RMR), But then what, Crafting an Atmosphere