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05: DEVELOP THE MOMENTUM

Poet Maggie Smith has a great IG feed.

Her poems are posted as memes that encourage, inspire, and often ignite our wayward souls. My favorite part about these posts is how each one closes – two words:

“Keep moving”.

This idea of moving – even when we don’t want to – is what I call momentum.

Recently, I have struggled to gain traction in my career. I constantly find myself reacting to whatever fire is the most pressing that day. Philosopher Charles Pepin states “everything is urgent, but not everything is important” – another lesson to write about later. But, for now I like to think about how I can shift from reacting to “urgent” matters to planning and being more pro-active about my profession/ my life. But, to be pro-active requires goals and foresight – ambition and actionable steps. This commitment to daily improvement and long-term growth is what I would call development. The act of building a team of supporters and champions is what I call momentum.

Develop the momentum.

Here’s how I have found success developing momentum :

1. Interview your friends – nothing makes us feel more human than sharing our struggles with someone in a similar creative field. I have learned so much from friends in related professions – Landscape Architecture, Planning, Marketing, Advertising, Teaching, Finance, IT and even the FBI. All I have to do is ask good questions. Be specific. How do they handle a tough boss, how do they balance work and home, marriage and kids, how do they create margin, stay inspired, avoid career drift. Simple questions almost always yield a renewed spirit and more hopeful perspective.

2. (re) Read timeless wisdom– maybe obvious and I know people often poke at the “self-help” books ( I prefer personal growth) , however I think there is a lot of quality material that has stood the test of time. Whether its Solomon (Proverbs) Carnegie (How to Win Friends…) or even your favorite poet/writer (Berry/ Oliver/ Rilke/ Lamott) These authors understand we get down and we need a boost. Maybe reading a perspective of finding purpose in a dark time charges you again. Maybe some words written long ago speak to your soul and spark something inside. This wisdom endures for a reason.

3. List your strengths – I review my strengths constantly – as a dad, as a husband, as an architect, as a friend. I am confident after all this time that I know what I am good at: drawing, communicating, believing, inspiring, engaging, yearning, aiming, striving, empathizing, activating, serving, laughing, sharing, collaborating, etc. Might seem pretentious to list them out, but I find a lot of encouragement when reading every adjective I would use to define myself. Thinking about every way God has gifted me and think about how I can help other people with those gifts. Look at this often and especially on bad days – remember you are beautifully and wonderfully made.

4. Make an encouragement folder/ keep track of wins – I need a lot of encouragement and recognition. Without it I become full of doubt and amazingly critical. However, I cannot expect our office leadership, my wife, or my friends to constantly pat me on the back. So I started saving encouraging emails. These could be from friends/ family/ work…anything and file them in a email folder. Then when I have having a lousy day – I read a few. I remind yourself that others value me and more importantly my value extends beyond workplace. Once again, I reminder to myself – that I am enough, I am loved.

5. Encourage others – this one is counter-intuitive, but if you fill someone up you start to develop momentum. Your investment in others reminds you of your place in the world and your power to elevate the human condition. We have the opportunity to step into people’s circumstances and illuminate the good in their life. What a tremendous responsibility! And the most amazing part is that this need is all around us. Think about what would happen if you started to notice other people more, especially their needs? Maybe you become the person who notices when co-workers go above and beyond. Maybe you become the person who buys coffee during a deadline. Maybe you see someone on a deadline and bring them lunch. These small acts allow us to step out of our selfishness and into serving humanity. We could be the people whom inspire people. It just takes time and attention – like the great Mary Oliver says “attention is the beginning of devotion”.

6. Record lessons – our toughest weeks are draining, exhausting, and overwhelming. We get pressed and pushed and driven to meet every deadline, client and family need. In the midst of all of this is abundant lessons (see blog post 1) where there is always something to learn – even if its what not to do. Record your lessons in a small flexible book and try to write in it 1x a week. That’s 52 bits of wisdom a year – think about how much you could collect just by living life. Some lessons are learned from a job site or lessons learned by arriving late at home. Both are wisdom to learn from and carry forward. We live in a time where people constantly seek answers and are always seeking wisdom. We would be well-served to look into our own repository of life experiences – both good or bad – and reflect on how we might behave differently and how we could live a better way.

7. Find a mentor – this is an important one. A mentor is a mysterious combination of coach, grandparent, and friend. They are full of generosity and wisdom and passion. These are the people we hope to be someday so in the meantime we all need to find folks to push us to be better. Who give great advice because they have lived exactly (or close) what you are going through. Don’t have a mentor yet? Try this exercise – make a list of 5 people that inspire you – professionally, personally, relationally, spiritually, financially – whatever – five people. Then ask yourself how much time you spend with each of them. If you don’t know them – write them and tell them you want to learn more about how they do life. Trust me – they will call back. If it is someone you see occasionally, make an effort to see them consistently. Have a 1x/ week group, a 1x/month call, and a quarterly check-in with people committed to your success. Nothing I can think of develops more momentum than this sphere of influence.

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04: CHANGE THE NARRATIVE

“Pay attention to what you pay attention to” – Amy Krouse Rosenthal

I heard this quote referenced by one of my favorite authors to follow – Austin Kleon. Now, this idea has been following me around all week – what do I pay attention to? Work? Family? Relationships? Faith? Finances? Health?

I guess one could assume we all wrestle with each facet of life in varying degrees. Maybe a season where one lever is pulled and another pushed. One lever stays in neutral and another goes forward or even in reverse. This is the balance of life – and if we’re not careful we can let other’s view of “our performance” to influence how we see ourselves.

These are the questions that I am paying the most attention to:

  1. Am I growing professionally?
  2. Will I be remembered?
  3. Is my work life balanced?
  4. How am I parenting my kids?
  5. Am I a supportive and loving husband?
  6. How can I be a great friend?
  7. Am I there for my parents and sister?

That’s a lot.

Too much in fact.

What if we could view my professional and personal life differently? What if they were not a list of questions illuminating adequacy, but a list of opportunities to change the narrative.

Gary Hildebrand is one of my favorite design voices, writers, and landscape architects. Few people speak and write more poetically about the design process and poetics of place. He wrote this canonical essay “On Seeing” which offers some insight “…we are conscious of preoccupations that focus our attention and bring satisfaction and constant challenge.”

Hildebrand’s relentless optimism is a constant source of inspiration. Because, if we were honest, that which we pay attention to – is often negative and focuses on our deep insecurities. Hildebrand changes the narrative by changing our perception – our preoccupations (what we pay attention to) – help us focus and see our innate challenges. When we face them and take action we grow and find satisfaction.

I love that.

So here’s the lesson – what we pay attention to is the narrative we understand about ourselves. This is our story being revealed to us as we write it. What would happen if we changed the narrative from what I am not doing to what I am doing well?

What would happen if we began to intensify our focus on what we pay attention to – and made it a priority for personal growth. Here’s an example:

we notice – I don’t talk to my family enough.

a change – call or text them at the same time each week

we notice – I am not experiencing good work/life balance

a change – Could I leave earlier to spend time with kids and work a little later tonight?

The thing I am learning is that the narrative I often hear is one of negativity and inadequacy – I am never enough. If we aren’t careful we can become the victim of the lives that have been imposed upon us.

Sad right?

All of this is not true of course, but often our perception of our circumstances. Stating the things we pay attention, our preoccupations, and focusing on how we could do live them differently is a powerful proposition. I believe we could review the stories we tell ourselves and critique the narrative, and even change it. One small move at a time – leaving nothing out. We might start to see ourselves more accurately, as our kids, family, and friends experience us. As people who are loving and loyal, driven and determined- trying to do life the best they can – changing one narrative at a time.

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03: LEAVE NOTHING OUT

Wendell Berry’s short and iconic poem was introduced to me by a dear friend one night when discussing the things we always do when we have drinks… Life, Work Life, Married Life, Balancing Life, and the purpose of it all.

Ian grabbed his copy of “Leavings” from his spare bedroom – where the frogs typically live – and opened up to the first page. Berry’s memorable prose is the first poem in the batch and is somehow imprinted on my memory. I cannot tell you where my keys, wallet, or phone are, but I can recite this gem from Like Snow.

You could pull this poem apart in so many ways – each word is deliberate and calculated and so deeply thoughtful. Here are just a few quick sentiments that strike me:

“Suppose” – such a gentle admonishment, encouraging us to work a different way. A very different way.

“Like snow” – there is nothing more calming than the ground collecting snow. A fresh, thick blanket over the earth. But Berry, finds just the right word for a fresh snowfall. Quiet. I have often stepped outside during an intense storm just to hear the quiet sound.

Why does he repeat “quietly, quietly”? Again – I think Mr. Berry knows we can easily brush through short poems, but in 13 words only one repeats. I think that is very intentional.

But the that phrase is what really resonates with me. Something that keeps me up at night thinking about. “Leaving nothing out”.

If I am not careful, this can cause quite an existential moment – what am I missing? what am I forgetting? what in life has God put me here to do and did I not see it? In other words, is my life “leaving anything out”?

Kobe Bryant and his young daughter died this past Sunday in a helicopter crash. A lot has been said about this and I won’t go into that here. But, since that happened, I have had several people reach out and tell me how they cared about me and didn’t want me not to know.

Very thoughtful and very interesting…

Then I heard this interview with Shaquille O’Neal, and he mentioned how in light of losing his great friend and “niece” this has given him great pause. In the midst of his very full work life, he is going to focus on being more present in his friends’ and family’s lives. To make more of an effort to check in the the people who matter most.

Here are a couple of easy ways to make sure your “leave nothing and (no one) out”:

  1. When you think of someone, text them – tell them you were thinking of them and how much they mean to you.
  2. Send letters to people you love – nothing will ever replace a thoughtful note.
  3. When you see something in a store and say to yourself “_______ would love this” – consider buying a small gift for them.
  4. Send songs to your friends- this song reminded me of you, have a great day
  5. Buy co-workers/ team members coffee
  6. Send good books to your friends –
  7. Send photos of good quotes/ pages you are reading to your friends
  8. Meet with close friends on a consistent basis
  9. Sit with new people at lunch – I am very bad at this – eating lunch and sitting with new people 🙂
  10. Give people your time when they reach out to you, even if it’s inconvenient.

Maybe you have always wanted to do something, go somewhere. Maybe you always wanted to write to your hero – do it. Maybe you always wanted to reconcile with a family member – not as easy, but try it. There is surely something you carry around within you that is dying to come out. To come to life in the world through you. This is what we and the world cannot afford to leave out.

So whether its a dream, an ambition, a friend, a family member – we all need to be reminded of Berry’s powerful charge – Suppose we did our work/ like the snow quietly, quietly/ leaving nothing out.

Let us be thorough friends, siblings, spouses, and parents. With our love, our work, our families, our marriages, our lives – Let us leave nothing out.

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02: GIVE AWAY EVERYTHING

Renzo Piano Interview on Louisiana Channel

An established workflow is often the mark of a talented professional.

For years, I sought to find the secret sauce that would become my “style”. I combed through libraries, bookstores, and websites looking for clues. I even would wait after lectures to ask presenters “how do you do this?”.

And the answer was always a secret.

Why is it that creative professionals don’t share these techniques? Why do we find something that works well, looks great, and is super efficient only to keep it for ourselves? We believe our own secret workflow will somehow will separate us from our colleagues and competitors all for our own gain.

This is foolish.

In a recent interview, with the Louisiana Channel, world renowned architect Renzo Piano stated that he encourages his younger staff to “steal everything”. This sounds like a crazy person – who would offer all of the details (especially those details), the drawings, the sketches, etc to young people? Doesn’t he know they will just rip off these ideas and make them their own? Doesn’t Mr. Piano know that these secret ideas/ workflows are what make us unique.

Oh yes – he does.

Piano says, “Stealing, I know, is not nice, but if the condition is that you give back, it’s not that bad.” When young people come to work at Piano’s offices, what they’re told is to “take, take away – don’t wait for us to give you, take. But if possible, give back one day. “

Did you catch that? The lesson that I missed all those years? The nugget of wisdom that completely unlocked a new way my design perception…give back.

I think this insight tells us two things:

First, we take ideas knowing that we must improve upon them to make them our own. Solomon may have said “there’s nothing new under the sun” however if every idea is already in existence then our job is to synthesize old, disparate ideas and combine them into a new manufactured mode of design thinking. This is fascinating to me.

Second, to give back means that the process of constantly taking from each other (stealing) to gather new techniques, perspectives, and strategies is only the first part of the exchange. The second half is to share this knowledge with others. Once we have realized that we are all in fact “borrowing” (i prefer this over stealing) ideas and re-purposing them – then our sense of ownership begins to change. The secret workflow sauce is no longer sacred, but something to share.

Imagine if we all started looking for ways to give away our ideas, our ways of thinking, and most importantly our experiences. Think of how our teammates, our colleagues, and younger professionals would benefit. We don’t know, what we don’t know – therefore a seasoned creative mind would start to offer wisdom and give away ideas to make other people better.

This is a productive creative cycle – a give and a take. One in which looks to serve others with our collected wisdom while continuing to learn the profession ourselves.

I am confident that almost no one practices this way – which is why Renzo’s advice seems so appalling at first. But, we certainly could with a more thoughtful and intentional mindset.

What Piano is teaching us with his advice to steal is to be more aware of the the wisdom and lessons all around us. This posture causes us to be humble and admit we don’t know everything. Solitude for our design ego.

To close, here are a few tactics I use to steal and give back. I hope you will find them useful – maybe even try one and let me know what you think:

  1. Draw great plans by hand – I have learned a tremendous amount by drawing plans from my heroes – Williams + Tsein and Peter Zumthor are a great start.
  2. Print cards – Don’t just pin everything to Pinterest – while this is useful, you seldom remember all the images you have collected. Tom Phifer gave this amazing lecture at GSD recently where he talked about this process of compiling cards of images to pin up and have avaiable all the time. These were not overall images of buildings, but details of materials, or joints, or surfaces. All of which, inspire his amazing work.
  3. Take notes on how people present their work – don’t just sit at a lecture or conference and write down notes. Be more active – how are the slides organized? what is the graphic design like? how is their delivery? are they engaging, why? Provide a short critique of what worked and what didn’t.
  4. Make lists of ideas to steal – whatever you listened to , or watch, or read, always have a running list of things to look up, read, or research. I find that goodreads is a great way of tracking books I want to read and using the simple post-it on my desktop is a useful (and dumb) way to keep tabs
  5. Mentor up and mentor down – learn from someone ahead of you and find younger folks to serve
  6. Write a blog and share all the lessons you know 🙂
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01: EVERYTHING IS LESSONS

“Everyone gets the experience, but not everyone gets the lesson” – T.S. Eliot

Everything is lessons is a collection of design wisdom that could apply to life or our profession. I came across Eliot’s quote some time last year in the midst of struggling with work and life and where I was supposed to be. I felt like I was accumulating loads of new experiences – successes, setbacks – and but missing the lesson, missing the deeper wisdom I could apply to my life.

This blog will become an inventory of collected wisdom that I have encountered. I am a mid career architect who is constantly seeking and yearning for more. I am let down and disappointed and encouraged and let down again. Through all of those experiences – there are lessons – what to do and what not to do.

I hope you will find each post to be honest, vulnerable, and compelling. Encouraging, hopeful, and real.

Raymond Carver’s makes a provocative claim in his dynamic book Fires –

“If you want to accomplish anything of consequence with two children, it better be short and of consequence.”

And so it is…

I will post short essays all with 3-word titles that detail bit of design or life wisdom I am learning or have learned. Some of these lessons are funny, some are painful, some are encouraging, and some are simply something to learn from. I am writing this mostly for my own therapy, but maybe you will enjoy reading too.

Once I get going, I will send out some notifications and give you yet another thing to read. In the meantime, therapy is in session.

rk

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** LESSONS – the ongoing list

Writing topics – an inventory of wisdom

Give away everything
No mistake twice – bob knight
Make something happen
Develop the momentum
Change the Narrative
Ask more questions
Clarify the Expectations
Do your work
Read the stuff
Reveal the place
Frame the discussion
Clarify the Principles
Mine for Wisdom
Hold the pen
Carry the box
Copy the plans
Find the pockets
Pursue your passion
Be the light
Speak with confidence
Take a position
Write your thoughts
Relate. Read. Reflect.
Act with Grace
Thicken your experience
See beyond yourself
Be articulate enough
Trace the masters
Build consensus quickly
Don’t hold back
Build a community
Consistently provide content
Recognize the seeds (dani shapiro)
Build your influence
Engage your imagination
Trust your gut
Rely on God
Victim no more
Record the surge
Ask great questions
Find some solitude
Track your patterns
Layers of meaning
Learn from Difficulty
Calm is contagious
Reveal the history
Make cold calls
Write more letters
Encourage your tribe
Treat yourself well (how we are to a friend vs us)
List your tricks
Develop your principles
Today isn’t forever
Interview your heroes

Find the coat tails, Need of Discipline, Frozen Salt Marshes, Leave Nothing Out, See His Work, Genius of Place (WB), You are enough (BB), Peace Be Still (LD song), Contending with Worry, A Turning Point, Your Capable Stroke (RMR), But then what, Crafting an Atmosphere