I have a good friend who does Triathlons and one time I asked him how he trained for hills. He told me simply “run the hills”…
I love this advice.
I am a person who is constantly observes, reflects, and (probably) overthinks life – hence this blog. I often feel like I need to ask 5 of the most notable and wise figures their advice on a situation before making a decision. This is good practice in some cases, however not for everything in life. More recently, I have found that sometimes the only way to train for the hardest parts is to “run the hills”. Intentionally practice doing the hard stuff whether its a professional, relationship, physical or financial goal – whatever it is – step into the “hardest part” first and you often find you are better equipped than you thought. You simply needed a different, more humble posture.
Robert Frost has this quote that is embedded into my memory: “the best way out is always through”. I remember reading that many times before it really hit me – “the best way out” …is always through. The easier path seldom prepares you for life. However, the numerous instances in which I have been pressed, challenged, or had my ability doubted – those are moments that have defined my character and resolve. Those are the moments that help us understand what we are made of.
One could argue that our setbacks, failures, and missed opportunities are the topography we must traverse to shape who we truly are. We must suffer and experience hardship to understand how little control we actually have over our own circumstances. We never would admit that, but our ambition is seldom about our planning and performance and more often about timing and external forces.
That’s why “Run the Hills” is such good advice.
Those who never see the lesson through their difficulty – they become cynical and bitter. However, those who endure hardship and share their story to help out others are full of wisdom. They have run the hills and found that moving “through” obstacles not only makes us stronger mentally, but more self confident and self assured of our ability. That is valuable – to know ones strengths, limits, and beliefs so that you then can mentor and share your observations with those who ask you.
Here are a 5 ways that you may consider “running the hills” – intentionally stepping into difficult experiences to find a fuller, more meaningful life.
Fitness goal – let’s say you were training for a half marathon (me). Find a realistic running plan, find a challenging route, and make sure there is a monumental hill somewhere along the way. Repeat this course until you can do the “hill” every time. Very similar idea for gym routine, yoga, biking etc.
Relational goal – write out some of the feedback you have received from people closest to you. Ask them “how do you experience me – at my best, at my worst?” Maybe you don’t evenly share child duties (me), don’t listen or communicate (me), or don’t turn off work at home (me). Could you use that feedback to improve your relationship with your spouse, kids, friends? You have to accept that you have made mistakes, but also accept that you can change. Stanley Kunitz said in his amazing poem “the Layers” – “I am not done with my changes…”
Financial goal – similar to fitness in some ways. Set goals – “I want to set up a mutual fund…college fund…starting giving regularly”. Then set up the auto deduct from you account. This is the “hills” – the hardest part because usually this means you have to sacrifice something else. But, every time we have been generous or wise or thoughtful with our finances we have released the stressful hold that money can have on our marriages and lives.
Professional goal – I feel like these are the only goals I often set. (Yes, my priorities are constantly misaligned.) I think these are so easy to become ultimate goals and take over your attention – “if I don’t get senior associate….then associate principal….then….” This is a toxic and unfulfilling pursuit. A chasing after the wind. But, whata if you could learn from your past difficulties, failures, and setbacks and teach those around you. A mentor, an investor, an encourager. Now you are becoming something much more than a title – you are becoming a leader. And people will follow people who believe in them.
Spiritual goal – maybe you have always been in/ out of a spiritual background and never committed to your faith. What would happen if you were more open? Would God have something to say? Something unique for you do? Someone important for you to serve? This time – more than any other – might be the season to reconsider your postiion on faith and try again. To run the hills spiritually is to show up consistently, vulnerably, and relationally available. Open to something bigger than yourself. You may find more hope and love and encouragement than you ever thought possible. I did.